Regrets
by CaptainRikku
Summary: As the Ragnarok lands back on Gaia, Squall and Rinoa must face their actions...and their feelings. Can they be honest with one another before she's taken to the memorial? One Shot


Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII...unfortunately. 

**A/N:** My second rewrite! I much prefer this to the original, mainly because it's a little truer to the game sequence itself and the characters aswell. I hope you agree. So please, read and review! It would be most appreciated.

**

* * *

**

**Past Regrets**

"_I've become a sorceress. I can't stay with you anymore, Squall."  
_

"_I don't want the future. I want the present to stand still. I want to stay here with you."  
_

"_Nobody would want to be around me anymore…"  
_

"_I'm scared."  
_

* * *

He didn't know how long they had been like this. 

He had lost himself in the tender moment, his arms wrapped tightly around the raven-haired beauty. He could feel her warm breath against his neck, causing a sensation of gentle shivers down his spine. A sensation he'd never felt before. He couldn't remember ever being this close to somebody, although a faint memory of comforting warmth rest in the back of his mind.

It was a shame. He quite liked it, although he would never admit to that.

He wanted to stay like this forever.

* * *

A thundering shudder erupted around them as the Ragnarok finally landed. As she felt the tremors subside, she awoke from her reverie, slowly raising her head from its place on his shoulder. Turning to look out of the window, she was surprised to see skies of cloudless blue, instead of the never-ending sea of stars she had become accustom to. The dusky plains that lay before her, seemed deserted, uninhabited for longer than she could possibly guess. 

They were back.

She turned to her companion and allowed a slight smile to grace her lips. He returned the favour, although somewhat reluctantly. Their moment in time had come to an end. It was a shame.

She wanted to stay like this forever.

* * *

As they walked through the airship, they remained silent. Neither of them had spoken since Rinoa had confessed her fears on the bridge. The sound of their footsteps echoed throughout the hangar as they made their way to the exit ramp, gradually descending to the ground. The fresh air that flooded the chamber hit them both at once, bringing them to their senses and provoking different reactions. The sorceress gave a sigh of relief, before inhaling deeply and letting out a cry of celebration. Squall merely watched, taking slow, measured breaths, as Rinoa became a blue blur dancing around the room. She seemed to have forgotten the future that awaited her. He hadn't. As soon as she stepped off the ship, she would be taken away from him, never to be seen again. It was…a necessary evil. She was susceptible to the manipulation of Ultimecia and that meant she was a threat to the people of Gaia. She couldn't be free. They couldn't take the risk. 

But he didn't want to let go. To them she was a danger, but to him she was harmless. He could still remember that fated day in Deling, when himself and Irvine had discovered her in the sorceress's room, cowering in the corner. She had been too afraid to fight the creatures that threatened her life. She had even tried to avoid a violent confrontation between the SeeDs and Edea, reluctant to cause any harm. How could anyone see her as a danger?

Rinoa ceased her celebration for a moment to observe her leather clad saviour. He had his arms crossed firmly across his chest and his head bowed, looking towards his boots. He was thinking again. He was bottling everything up inside him, despite the time she'd taken to get him to share his thoughts and feelings. It wasn't easy, but she had persevered and he seemed to be opening up on the Ragnarok. Had she actually made no progress at all?

She approached Squall slowly and cautiously, planning to break through the shell he'd fashioned around his emotions. Closing the distance between them, she placed her hands behind her back and leaned forward, looking up into his solemn face. It quickly became clear to her how unwanted this invasion of his space was, as his expression changed to one of annoyance.

"What?" he snapped. He inwardly cursed himself for being so unnecessarily harsh. Did he always have to alienate those who expressed concern for him?

"Nothing, just wanted to see if you're alright…" she replied. She had initially been shocked by his hostility. He had been so comforting on the bridge and now it was as though he couldn't stand her. Why had things changed?

He was fine. What he was worried about was her. He wished he knew how to help her, to ease the fear she must be feeling at being a sorceress. Was she fully aware of her predicament and what would happen when she left the ship? Did she know she would never see the others again? Did she know she would never see _him_ again? How could he possibly tell her this?

"Whatever…" he mumbled.

Rinoa let out a sigh of exasperation before turning from him. She just couldn't understand it. Something was stopping him from talking to her. Not long ago, he was happy to hold her to him, to have her head against his shoulder, her mouth just inches from his. Now, he seemed to welcome her presence as much as Angelo welcomed fleas. She wanted nothing more than for him to hold her again, to wrap his strong arms around her and whisper in her ear that everything would be fine. But she was facing up to the fact that it might never happen, despite all her efforts. She'd had enough.

She made her way down the ramp.

* * *

"Sorceress Rinoa. Hyne's descendant." 

"Come with us. We must seal your power for the sake of the world."

"All right…" Rinoa answered.

Squall made his way down the ramp, listening to the exchange before him. Two Estharians had approached Rinoa as soon as she stepped onto the dirt terrain. They were draped in cream robes with a green and gold trim. Visors guarded their eyes, protection from the stray grains of sand carried by the wind. There was something inherently regal about them that instantly read as pretentious to Squall. He'd never liked people with ideas above their station. He looked at them with intent, watching their every move. It was clear he hadn't gone unnoticed.

"Thank you for understanding," the first estharian said, his gaze drawn to the mercenary at the airships mouth. He had one hand resting on his hip, whilst the other had a firm grip on the handle of his weapon. The guard was alarmed to see the long, sharp blade that hung from his belt, "Tell us when you're ready."

The two retreated, leaving Rinoa to prepare for her departure. She took a deep breath and clenched her fists. She didn't want to do this, but if she was going to protect him, it had to be done. The sorceress sauntered up to Squall, staring at him, willing him to look up at her. No such luck. Not even when she was directly in front of him.

"I should tell you this before I…I go…"

No reaction.

"I was possessed out in space. There was a sorceress inside me. Ultimecia..." Rinoa shuddered as she spoke the name. Being exposed to the thoughts and feelings of that monster had left her cold. She had experienced her feelings and felt her bloodthirsty nature take control of her body, bending her to that menacing will. If she could live her life and not hear her name again, she would be at peace.

"…a sorceress from the future. She's trying to achieve time compression. She's the only one who would be able to exist in such a world. She and no other."

Still no reaction

"As long as I'm free," she continued, growing agitated at Squall's non-responsive state, "she'll continue to use me to accomplish her goal. I…"

She paused, looking away from the man before her. She could feel the stinging sensation at the back of her eyes, tears threatening to fall. She couldn't cry in front of him, not when the likelihood of him comforting her was minimal.

"…We can't let that happen, right?"

Nothing.

"I should go now…" She turned to the aides, "…I'm ready."

Taking one last look at Squall, Rinoa looked at her feet, echoing his own stance, before turning her back on him and following her guides. She'd tried to help him, but if he wasn't going to bother, then why should she? There was only so much rejection she could handle.

"We'll be heading to the Sorceress Memorial. It is important you follow procedure…"

"Rinoa! Don't go!"

A triumphant smile forming on her lips, she spun round to see Squall running to her. She was amused to find that he looked rather surprised by his sudden outburst, almost as much as she was. He skid to a halt before her and looked her in the face, his eyes pleading. They both stood there, staring at one another, for what seemed a lifetime.

She couldn't tear her gaze from his icy blue eyes as she considered his outburst. Surely that meant something. Did he care after all?

He hadn't realised what he was doing until he was stood before her. She was regarding him with an indefinable stare, one that made him feel slightly uncomfortable until she seemed to come out of her senses.

"Thanks, Squall. But I have to go."

_Rinoa…_, he thought, _don't go…_

"Oh!" Rinoa began to raise her hands to the chain that adorned her neck, "I still have your ring…"

He raised his own gloved hands and placed them over hers, ceasing their movement. For a moment, he appreciated how her delicate hands fit perfectly in his own, before pushing the thought to the back of his mind.

"You keep it."

To most people, those three words would have seemed without any real meaning, almost careless, but to Rinoa they meant everything. She knew how important that ring was to Squall and the fact he wanted her to have it… it was his way of showing he cared. So the Squall that had held her on the Ragnarok was still in there, somewhere. It pained her to think that this would be the last time she would see him.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

It took all of her strength to walk away from him and all her self-control not to run back and throw her arms around his neck. She laughed at the thought, wondering how he'd react. He'd probably do nothing and just let her hang there. To be honest, she'd be satisfied with that.

As he watched her climb into the rental car with the aides and drive out of sight, Squall contemplated what had passed. She was gone. He would never see her again and he just…let her go. Never mind that she meant more to him than he was ready to admit.

She had to go. If Ultimecia got hold of her again, innocent people would be killed. Yet he couldn't have cared. He wanted her hand in his, her arms around his neck, her head against his… he just wanted to protect her. He would have protected her no matter what. Even if it meant turning against the entire world.

He returned to the ship, climbing inside and proceeding to the bridge. Falling into a seat, he hunched over and placed a hand to his temple. It was here he had held her, here he had opened up to her. In doing so, he'd let her in. Just thinking about not having her around made him ache, an empty feeling in the pit of his stomach making itself felt. He closed his eyes, and felt his brow furrow beneath his palm. One thought kept spinning in his mind.

_What have I done?_

* * *

**Please review! Constructive critiscism is appreciated!**


End file.
